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Soft Grudge

by Mulligrub

/
1.
Backyard baby take me back put your cigarettes out on my hands and kiss me with your elbows up make me flowers from empties and car exhaust And melted plastic cups will fold into the lawn I will solder my mouth shut with the heat from the sidewalk kick your fires higher and put holes in all your shirts and when two thread's all you got left swear you're not naked there must be another word and I won't walk home like this so put your leeches on my lips and when the bad blood's sucked out of the bruises salt them watch them fall off do you know how to keep a secret?
2.
Chicken 02:28
We sit on the sidewalk that soldered my mouth shut and I pet your dog you say I could hit you if I want I say it's too late besides I don't think I would stop she licks my face with her big tongue I wanna ask you does she still pull when she walks you stare out at the intersection I won't answer a single question it's not my fault go home cry into your pillow I'm so tired won't feel better tomorrow tell all your friends that you're a better person cry into their shoulders like it makes a difference ask yourself who is it are you really trying to convince wake up put on your shoes and walk the dog when you go to feed her she looks up asks you what is wrong and was it me
3.
NFLD 03:43
Six hour ferry stowaway I woke you up for snoring and you couldn't get back to sleep and I'm sorry Cut off shorts cut off our sleeves popsicles light through green leaves above the lakes with tiny frogs to cup and hold in your hand stub our toes run down the cliff pitch the tents go for a swim a bonfire all night you spend building and the flames reflect off the cove in the morning we throw the logs in and go on the rocks we watch the whales shoal I've never been and may never again be so close to something so complete and beautiful and if the undertow should take me I won't panic and I won't scream just watch the rocks destroy my body and watch the parts become part of something greater than I could ever conceive
4.
slept through the mountains hanging your head the suburbs stare at you over the fence watch from the car passing cigarettes silent and destructively complacent we sing there's nothing I can do to stop one thousand wonder bread trucks from dumbing down and pumping up with whitewashed marshmallow fluff run your mouth into the ground dig yourself a hole I hope you never get out the edge at the top is lined with teeth they see you don't practice what you preach you keep secrets from your mother from your significant other and they sing there's pills that you can take to stop a thousand misfired neurons from grinding you down building up a mountain of molehill problems build an overpass for the family cat one day she'll be all that's left mow the newly flattened lawn in front of an ancient mountain ignore what we destroy until it's gone until it's gone
5.
Europe 03:51
Step down off the bus In front of my parents house, the wet grass must Have soaked through your shoes and your socks Your t-shirt's see through And I would kiss you but I better I better not I'm a marionette can't hold up my head In a bar or a leopard print cocktail dress Sneaking to the bathroom to shotgun a lucky seven We walked there and we walked home Together The river looks like a rainbow tonight I could walk on it you look terrified and you tell me not to try I said don't worry buddy I'm not that high Don't worry buddy both our cell phones died I passed out twice in Vimy Ridge park You helped me up you helped me find my glasses I was scared I missed work and you thought that I had died When I asked you the time you said that's not important You held my arm As the sun came up We jaywalked home While healthy people, morning people passed us Walking with their dogs, jogging with their dogs And where are you now? You're getting drunk in Europe. You're fucking up your last chance To get back the home the friends the family you abandoned Well you're not gonna change And there ain't no one that can make ya So I'll walk home alone and you keep being a rapist cause you won't change you won't let it in past your thick skull to your empty head we wanted so bad to take you back
6.
Homo Milk 01:47
glowy stars from the dollar store homogenized milk you can barely afford and a closed door
7.
almost an entire year over or under sleeping next to you here on a ripped and stained bare mattress unfurling thread blue flower black mould pattern perched on a loft bed built for us by a good friend with stolen nails and a couple dirty pallets I promise I won't take any of the sickness with me when I go but don't beat yourself up if you come crawling back in the fall I don't know if you will be around to write sad poems for me I don't know if I will be around to sing you to sleep I don't know if codependency is really all that healthy the only thing that I know right now is I miss you already
8.
disclaimer: I wrote this when I was 18 and am somewhat embarrassed of the lyrics :-P it's anonymous ugly and shameful a distasteful joke in a room of staring people you thought that you saw a rainbow but it was skyscraper staring at you from a puddle and I don't get it either but I'm still offended billboards big box stores highways never end it seems one square of land will not remain sacred someone has to own it and sell it and pave it and have the nerve to say this is the way its supposed to be the natural order of things born to die in buildings built from drywall and wrapped in plastic siding while blistered hands and bleeding feet paint the walls of the elite a pretty pink you can't see without rose glasses blinders we hand down to our babies it's always been about the money finding new ways to hide lie and disguise exporting overseas ugliness and poverty when you slam the door say that's just my job say that's just the law but you founded the company and passed out the guns
9.
When I met you, you were scared of everything except dying I kissed you on the Commons cause there was fire trucks in front of that big apartment building down the street from ours and on your skateboard you rode into the harbour I saw you leave but you didn't see me coming home We were two very unhealthy people seems like all we did back then was cry on each other's shoulders when the tears dried up it would get a little awkward it's a miracle somewhere in there we found we held some common ground and I want you around wanna put christmas lights on the boat house we'll never take them down just watch them burn out bleeh blooh blah bleeh blooh blah blah when I kissed you in the backyard don't think about before or after because I can never let go you can never hold onto anything that you don't keep in I always gotta say what I think so come over here with your paper flowers, your mismatched socks, and your smile from ear to ear I know you tried real hard but you broke broke broke broke broke broke broke broke broke broke broke my heart but it doesn't matter cause i'll love you anyways and however
10.
Sprite Zero 03:03
aspartame and anxiety medication shaky summer hungover repetitive motion all night party last to leave 6:30AM and I can't sleep drunk bike ride to clear my mind the sun comes up and I pass out just fine in photographs your skin's pockmarked overexposed by a lake in the sun you stand up in front of me take off your clothes turn around and run into the water, and lined up on the pier they watch you like seagulls you don't notice or care I wish I could get it all right it's too much you're a light bug and I can't keep up I would like to steal a car a blue station wagon like we had in 2011 and ride on the roof through the woods at night with the moon and the star that my dad bought for my grandma before she died your yellow graffiti on green highway signs is a movie that I have seen a million times too many

about

Mulligrub is Kelly Campbell (guitar + vocals), J Riley Hill (drums + sometimes vocals), and Mirella Villa (bass). We live in Winnipeg.

credits

released June 7, 2017

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by J Riley Hill of Mortfell Recording at Private Ear studios in 2015 and 2016.

Album art & design by Kelly.

Released independently April 23 2016.

Rereleased via Funeral Sounds (FSR046) in June 2017.

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